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You can Make Wedding Affordable

First things first, a wedding is the ceremony. It’s the vows you take BEFORE the marriage starts. Marriage is the ever after, the part that is most important. It’s the rest of your lives together going through the sickness and health, the ups and downs, the good and bad and everything in between. How you’re going to handle all of that together is more important than the wedding itself but I’m always amazed at how many couples spend months or years to plan the wedding but end up divorced in two years because they never discussed the MARRIAGE! They’ve had their $25,000 dream wedding, still owe on it and are seeking out a divorce lawyer!

That said if you truly love one another and are prepared for marriage then truly you should get married. You shouldn’t put off the marriage because you can’t afford the wedding. I know it’s hard to wrap your head around this but the big spectacular wedding isn’t something you MUST have. It’s a desire, a want, not a NEED. Living together for five years because you can’t afford the wedding isn’t a mature attitude. If you really wanted to be married, you’d realize the difference between the marriage and the wedding. I know this sounds harsh. Don’t shoot me yet. I’m not saying you have to give up all of your wedding dreams. I’m just saying to be a realist about them.

Something that irks me to no end is the statement made by some that, “courtesy dictates” or “custom dictates”. Okay, nothing gets me riled up more than the word, “dictate”. Does that mean you HAVE to do something? You’re being forced against your will to do something? If “dictate” is paying the tab on the pricey affair, then so be it, but if YOU are paying the tab and you don’t want to start out your marriage in debt because of your wedding, then by all means, kick “dictate” out of the picture and do what you can afford!

First, discuss what’s important to both of you for the wedding. Is it a church ceremony? Is it the long cathedral length gown? Is it getting all of your friends and relations together for the event? Make a list of the “must haves” and the “can do without” items. Once you have that, it’s easier to find ways to accomplish your desires AND do it inexpensively.

Wedding gown-Truthfully, the gown was one of MY most important things. I imagined myself in the cathedral length gown. I seriously shopped! I quickly found out that I didn’t look any better in the $3,000 raw silk gown versus the $650 gown! Shocking, huh? Now, even $650 is a lot. I was recently shopping in a thrift store and found a BRAND NEW, raw silk, cathedral length wedding gown with labels STILL ON for $50!!!! I’m still kicking myself for not buying the dress just for the fabric (I’m a quilter). Sometimes I kick myself for not shopping for my wedding gown at thrift stores. I always figured them for out of date styles but that’s far from true. In addition, the long trains are great for showy weddings and for when the expensive pictures are taken but if you’re trimming expenses than think more on a shorter style or floor length which are generally much less. Remember that NO ONE has to know that your dress was a thrift store find or off the floor sale dress or borrowed from a friend! All they’ll know if that you look beautiful, radiant and happy in it!